Growing up with a sister

Both of us were born free. Both of us were loved equally by our parents and perhaps being the first born she was more loved than me by my parents and relatives alike and was also more popular in the neighborhood. Both of us had a naughty and normal early childhood. Between us we never had any gender bias and I always expected her to climb trees with equal ease like my male friends and she too expected me to play "Ghar Ghar" with her and her female friends. But gradually things changed. She started being more reticent and mature. While I continued with my childish ways she started behaving more like my mother than my playmate. While she started admonishing me for playing beyond evening time with my friends, she herself would often get sermonised by my mother for her occasional attempts to relive the carefree childhood. No longer I got to see her wearing the frilly frocks that she used to wear till recently. She wouldn't be seen running around chasing a ball with gay abandon. Even if she did chase a ball, it would be an awkward attempt by her and the ball would appear to be teasingly beyond her reach. Very frequently she would be seen keeping to herself in a very irritable mood. The sudden change in her persona was beyond my comprehension and my curiosity to know what was wrong with her resulted in me getting branded as an intrusive pest. While the love between us remained unchanged there was a discernable change in the way we interacted and I drifted away from her to be more with my male friends beyond the four walls. While she silently fought her own battle and yet managed to evolve as a responsible adult I continued to be a child trapped in an adult body. While she found the daily dose of milk intolerable I continued to gorge on the same. While she  thought it fit to lend a helping hand to my parents in managing the household even in the midst of her career blues, I continued with my carefree and naughty ways, exploring my new found adulthood, blissfully unaware of how the family was being run. While she was consulted by my parents on major family decisions, I was allowed to sleep till late in the morning after late night outing with my teenaged friends. Eventually she with her half spent childhood matured much earlier than me and assumed her responsibilities well in time. Whereas, I with my extended childhood continued experimenting with my adulthood at the cost of my parents discomfort. It was much later in life that I realised how much of a childhood did she sacrifice only because she was the elder sibling and probably also because she was born  a girl. Guess same would have been the situation even if she was my younger sibling. Because boys rarely mature into a man and continue to be a pest for the women folk around. 

A big salute to all Behnas of the world on this special day for being the more capable and stronger sibling and for putting up with pests like me😊

"Khidkiyaan"

Dedicated to those who grew up in the vastly tech free world of 70s & 80s, and more importantly, dedicated to those from the earlier generation, for whom  community living mattered more than privacy.

"Khidkiyaan" - windows existed then as they do now. Only their size and structures have changed. But more importantly their permeability has undergone a sea change.
Back in the tech free era, the windows used to be dimutive in size but would open out to a whole world of freedom fresh air and social bonding. They would have hardly two panes opening outwardly but would bond a family with its entire neighbourhood. What cooks within was for all those outside to sniff upon. Be it a rustic Aaloo Paalak made on a cold winter night or a frugal daal chaawal during hot summers or a fragrant biryani during Ramzan. People within were never bothered about their voices being heard outside and a curious neighbor would never hesitate to ask - "Kal jhagda ho raha tha Kya?" Or "Aaj kuch special pak raha hain kya?"  In both cases curiosity of the neighbor was not considered as an intrusion into a private space and the neighbor would end up mediating between two warring couples or relishing on some delectable fare dished out from the kitchen. Privacy was an alien concept and sense of community living reigned supreme.
Now the two paned windows that used to be built at a height of about 3 feet from the floor only to end up another 3 feet from the roof, has given way to wall to wall and floor to ceiling panaromic windows through which, in many cases one could see not only the entire neighbourhood but also a big part of city itself. But strangely they have become less pervious, allowing almost nothing to pass through. These open to sky windows open up to acres and acres of privacy, but end up being inhabited by people who keep searching for social bonding on a tiny 6" screen. Mighty price to pay for privacy.