Parental Dilemma

As a parent one always aspires for a child who could fly high. 

Right from the school days parents prod  children to perform better and be achievers in whatever they do. Be it sports or academics or co-curricular activities, every parent want their child to be the best. 

Come the career defining phase, again parents wish from the core of their heart that the child acquires a good professional qualification and secures a high flying career. 

Parents feeling helpless when they witness their child falling by the wayside in the intense rat race, is a common phenomenon. A good professional qualification is considered as the key to fat pay packets which in turn is considered to be the passport for a successful life. 

It is but natural for every parent to aspire for a secure life for their children. 

But as years pass by, parents grow old, and their debilitating health turns the apple cart upside down. 

Children who were fortunate to have secured a high flying career have loads of money but are devoid of time for their parents. 

Support  emanates from the lesser fortunate child, who fell by the way side in the rat race, and could not be a high flyer.

Paradoxical it may sound, but such lesser fortunate children provide the much needed succour to old aged parents in their sunset years.

At such a juncture, fortunate are the parents who were blessed with a lesser fortunate child, and unfortunate are those who have high fliers as their children and are left to the mercy of care givers in their old age.

Strange are the ways of life.

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Social distancing

The fad for catch words has seen every major event in history being linked to some tag-line. Be it 'Boston Tea Party' that symbolised the first major revolt of Americans against East India Co. or nearer home the famed 'Dandi March' that mobilised millions of native Indians against British colonialism, or the more recent 'Brexit' symbolizing the parting of ways of the United Kingdom with EU.

Same way the term 'Social distancing' appears all set to symbolise the global war against Covid-19. The term perhaps finds its origin in Sociology which defines 'Social distance' as the level of acceptance people have of others outside their own social group or class.

However, Covid-19 has forced mankind to impart another connotation to the term and refers to ability of one to maintain safe distance from another be it within his/her own group/class.

While such a narrow meaning of the term may be a bit harsh on us human beings, a bit of introspection may perhaps reveal that we have over the years been conditioned mentally to deal with the new calling, possibly because of lifestyles which we ourselves chose to adopt.

With better education came better job opportunities and financial independence, and so did the desire for personal space.  While the world shrunk with increased connectivity, individual mobility expanded multifold and resulted in four members of one family leading disparate lives at four corners of the world. While, virtual/online relationships saw new heights, meeting of one human with another in flesh and blood became rare. Even those who met mostly ended up as cases of familiarity breeds contempt, and chose to meet lesser often or simply stay away. Personal egos grew bigger than the roof shared, and need for individual space over shadowed all other needs. 

While the latter part of 20th century saw the concept of joint family getting replaced by that of nuclear family, the new millennium witnessed real time threat to the very concept of a family, with those living together either remaining glued to gadgets in the confines of their rooms within the same house, or choosing to live separately in different homes. With each person leading a hermit life, social distancing as seen in the present times was never a new concept and many had already adopted this as their chosen path.

But, human behavior says that we gladly adopt a way of life on our own choice. But when same is thrust upon us by way of compulsion, we always tend to revolt against it and start craving for the very opposite. 

Hope the present predicament makes us introspect on how far we drifted away from the concept of community living in the name of individuality. 

Hope Covid-19 makes us realise that we as human beings were never meant to be lone wolves, and never meant to fight our battles alone. We as human beings were always meant to live together and live for each other.

Growing up with a sister

Both of us were born free. Both of us were loved equally by our parents and perhaps being the first born she was more loved than me by my parents and relatives alike and was also more popular in the neighborhood. Both of us had a naughty and normal early childhood. Between us we never had any gender bias and I always expected her to climb trees with equal ease like my male friends and she too expected me to play "Ghar Ghar" with her and her female friends. But gradually things changed. She started being more reticent and mature. While I continued with my childish ways she started behaving more like my mother than my playmate. While she started admonishing me for playing beyond evening time with my friends, she herself would often get sermonised by my mother for her occasional attempts to relive the carefree childhood. No longer I got to see her wearing the frilly frocks that she used to wear till recently. She wouldn't be seen running around chasing a ball with gay abandon. Even if she did chase a ball, it would be an awkward attempt by her and the ball would appear to be teasingly beyond her reach. Very frequently she would be seen keeping to herself in a very irritable mood. The sudden change in her persona was beyond my comprehension and my curiosity to know what was wrong with her resulted in me getting branded as an intrusive pest. While the love between us remained unchanged there was a discernable change in the way we interacted and I drifted away from her to be more with my male friends beyond the four walls. While she silently fought her own battle and yet managed to evolve as a responsible adult I continued to be a child trapped in an adult body. While she found the daily dose of milk intolerable I continued to gorge on the same. While she  thought it fit to lend a helping hand to my parents in managing the household even in the midst of her career blues, I continued with my carefree and naughty ways, exploring my new found adulthood, blissfully unaware of how the family was being run. While she was consulted by my parents on major family decisions, I was allowed to sleep till late in the morning after late night outing with my teenaged friends. Eventually she with her half spent childhood matured much earlier than me and assumed her responsibilities well in time. Whereas, I with my extended childhood continued experimenting with my adulthood at the cost of my parents discomfort. It was much later in life that I realised how much of a childhood did she sacrifice only because she was the elder sibling and probably also because she was born  a girl. Guess same would have been the situation even if she was my younger sibling. Because boys rarely mature into a man and continue to be a pest for the women folk around. 

A big salute to all Behnas of the world on this special day for being the more capable and stronger sibling and for putting up with pests like me😊

Sanju - the saga of an errant son of an illustrious Dad

Like any other Raj Kumar Hirani movies, Sanju too stands out for a perfect casting as it Hallmark. Each character howsoever insignificant is cast so right and played so good that while leaving the theatre we carry memories of every character notwithstanding the length of footage. Like Sholay thats perhaps is the essence of good film making. 

Amongst the ensemble Ranbir stands out as he ought to be in the titular role. Once again he shows his pedigree and proves that he is the true heir to his illustrious ancestors and miles ahead of his compatriots. Inspite of his comparatively smaller body frame vis-a-vis the towering persona of the deadly Dutt, Ranbir manages to portray each and every nuance of the legendary Sanju baba swag to near perfection. Paresh Rawal does have a handicap in his Gujju diction but with his measured talk and equally measured walk he has brilliantly played late Dutt Saab. Nobody other than Manisha Koirala could have played late Nargis Dutt  better. Being  herself a cancer survivor her face with naturally worn out ageing looks adds to the gloom and trauma the Dutt family would have faced on the eve of release of Sanju Baba's debut film Rocky. While Boman Irani and certain other regular favorites of RKH do with their few moments on screen manage to remain in our memory, the real scene stealer is Vicky Kaushal as the US based Gujju friend of Sanju. Being a Kaushal he has to be a Punjabi or Hariyanvi. But the way he has played a heavily Gujju accented Hindi speaking naive friend of Baba is really praiseworthy. While Ranbir may walk away with best actor award this year, Vicky Kaushal definitely stands a strong contender for best supporting actor.

Overall the movie appears to be a tribute by RKH to late Dutt Saab and his family without whom there would not have been a Munna Bhai MBBS and RKH would have not have become a hot shot film maker overnight. Through this film RKH has given us a glimpse on the contribution of Dutt Saab in making Munna Bhai MBBS a reality.

Food, Clothing & Shelter

While rapes and molestation were happening day in and day out, across the nation, it took a brutal and inhuman rape of Nirbhaya in the national capital to awaken the nation from its slumber and take notice of an evil that we as a civilized nation had been living with for decades. Hope the tragic suicide of Gajendra Singh,  a hitherto unknown farmer from Dausa Rajasthan, in the midst of a political rally in the national capital has the same effect and loss of his precious life does not go in vain. Hope that we as a nation realize that more than those in the Forbes list who provide us with expressways, sprawling malls or upmarket townships, its the unknown, unsung and weathered down peasant who provides us with our daily nourishment, is more vital for our existence. Let us realize that without food, the other two basic necessities namely clothing and shelter carry no meaning whatsoever. Let us feel the pain of this nondescript peasant who ensures the food on our plate day after day. Let us stand up for his survival so that we as a nation survive. Let us understand our priorities and not allow Clothing & Shelter to overwhelm and eclipse Food.

Maine kuch nahi kiya.

Salman says that neither he was drunk nor was he driving and that he is being falsely implicated. Wonder why should he be falsely implicated inspite of his good Samaritan image and inspite of him Being Human. Or is it the case that an inbuilt sense of guilt of having mowed down fellow human beings in an inebriated state had triggered the streak of philanthropy? Same may have been the reason for the father and son duo having gone out of their way to keep NaMo in good humour since April 2014.
Whatever may be the outcome of this protracted high profile case, the universal truth is that - Salman ho ya chindi chor, pakde jaane par har insaan wahi bolta hain joh bachpan mein seekha tha - Maine kuch nahi kiya.

The 90% Plus Syndrome

The incredible SSC results this year reminded me of an emotional write up by my daughter who an year ago had experienced her moment of ignominy inspite of having scored a laudable 88% in ICSE. Reasons being a 98% score in the same exam by another girl from our residential complex and few 90% plus scores amongst her classmates.
I felt like a creep when my daughter wrote that she was aware of the disappointment that lay hidden below our outwardly optimism and how much she wished she could equal the golden girls just for seeing a genuine smile on our face. Her write up was a valuable insight into the minds of thousands of students who become victims of sky high expectations of their parents in a rat race that defies all logic.
I have been reliving these thoughts since last two days post the innumerable 90% plus scores amongst the kids in my know. My heart goes out for those kids who couldn't manage to ride the 90% plus wave inspite of best efforts on their part. I also empathize with the parents of these kids who experience the helpless feeling of 'why my child?'.
It may sound a bit routine and cliche, but have to say that when these kids grow up and look back in life, they would also like us realise that a 90% plus score in the boards does not necessarily guarantee a passport to a successful life ahead. Life is too precious to be measured in terms of your performance in Std. X or XII. So keep your head high and move ahead in life. The world awaits to embrace you.
And last but not least, irrespective of your score your parents love you unconditionally and your happiness means the whole world for them.